been streeses gorged on booze and sushi last night mmmmm. awsome.

I had a crappy end to this month. Saterday I was woken up by a phone call, it was my cousin Reajean calling to tell me that my uncle Kenny had passed away. he had cancer of the baldder,pancreous and the liver. we have known he was terminal seince october. I am sad because I can not get to indianna for the funeral. I wanted to get the cance to pay my respects. and loseing him has given me a great need to see the family I have left but i cannot leave mom and i have no vacation time left to leave work.

I am uber mad at my moms youngest brother my uncle corkey. he has known seince october that his brother was going to die soon and not once did he go see him in over three months!!! now he told my aunt he might not go to the funeral because of the snow. bull shit! that is a crappy excuse. he could have driven down and stayed with family in town way befoure the snow started. he lives an hourand a half to a two hour drive away and could eassily gone to visit his brother and go to his funeral. if my mom was not in the hospital we would have gone to see him w\and we live two states and a seven hour car ride away. i thin it is just a load of crap. he is retiared and has no job to go to it is a load of crap.my other uncle came to see him once or twice a weekand he could not come to see him once. it just makes me mad.

i reely wish I had had good things to post. I want good thing s to post but i find I do not reely have any thing to be happy about or look forward to.I always feel so bleh. i ant to get back into drwaing i have not picked up a pencle in so long but have no idea what i want to draw. i want to get out of my usual elment and draw things i am not used to. i am working on roses and owel right now. (not togather)

well that is all for now
stay cool my babies

hey guys. I post.
i have been rely worn out lately. i have been splitting all my time between work and mom. that is all my life rely consists of now. it sucks to go to see. she has been at Kinderd hospital and I have to take three buses and walk 5 blocks on the side of the freeway to get to see her it takes about two and a half to three hours. she got taken back to st lukes cuz she was bleeding and they did not know why or from whear.but on the good side she is breathing better and they are talking about putting a cap on her trac so she can talk. it sucks not to be able to her\ar her voice. i have had to learn to read lips so i can understand what she wants.

I want a day off so bad. one day when i do not have to go anywear or do anything.i have not had a day like that seince mom went into the hospital 6 months ago. all my time off is spent going to see mom. I feel like like a bad daughter for thinking like this. I want some time to my self but am afraid to do so . what if I dont see mom and somting happens then I will forever know I was at the mall or playing a game when I could have been spending time withe her on last time. I already regret all the times I was out when I could have stayed home and played cars with her in the last couple of years but went the mall or the movies or just stayed holed up in my room.now I will neaver be able to sit and order pizza and play rummy with her agine.it maks my hart hurt.

I did take some time to cook food . I usualy cook stuff that is quick and easy. micowave queen! I mad a big ginormas pot of semi spicy chili. it is so good. I cooked a big pot and froze it so when I want some it is there when i want it and it wont go bad right way. I was kind of a retard when I mad it. I forgot to get tomato sause when I was buying the stuff to make it and had to use spagetti sause. i thought it would turn out bad but it did not it is yummy.

well that is all i have ti say.
stay cool my babies

hey guys!
mom is still inthe icu. she is satbel for now. went to rockford ill last night to see a camedium gabriel igasisas. mom was satbel and i have been under so much stress that I need some down time and this was just whatthe doctor ordered. on the way we saw a restraunt called beef a roo. no joke it made me laugh. i love gabreal,he is so funny.he is a fat guy and not afaid to crack jokes about it. i love his six levels of fatnes. thers big,helthy,husky,fluffy,DAMN! and OH HELL NO! i am still around the fluffy to damn rang.lol. I got a tshirt from the show that says "i'm not fat i'm fluffy" on it. the guy who sold it to me was one of the opening comics and was flerting with me waile I was up at the table.lol. the show went late and we had an hour and fortyfive min drive i stayed awake but could not keep my eyes open. we did not get back till two in the morning. we had a lot of fun.

hey people.
mom not to good i got a call night befoure last. a nurse from the hospital called and told me that mom had taken a turn for the worse and that i should come. ifreake i hav ebeen dreading this kind of call. i called tiff hystarical and she sent chad to come gerb me. i sobbed on the phone the whol time i was waiting for him. tiff just kept talking to me and telling me to take deep breaths. i was so shuer that she would be dead when i got there. a nurse told me she had been atken to the icu. momhad gotten reely bad congestion in her lungs. it was so bad that it cut off her airway and her right lung collapsed and they had to put a tube down her in her lung to help her to breath. she is diong better to day but i still think it is only a matter of time.
i am so freaked out. it a has always been just the two of us. i don't know how to function with her gone. i dont know how i will ever deal with it when it finaly happens . i feel so alone. not alone is in i have no one cus a have lots of wasome suportive friends who i would be lost without and my family is as suportive as they can be from two states away. alone as in i have lost a half of my self.it has alwas been her and mee and now it is just me even though she is not yet gone,she is gone .it just plane sucks.
end of my blubberfest.
on what littl good i have going on . i got an awsome tattoo on my leg the butterfly on my icon. the on on my leg it teal instead of purple. i got kat von d's new book and got her her to sign it wahen she was in town and got my pic taken with her.
till later
stay cool my babies.

hey guys.
I Mom had her surgery yesterday. she was taken to the OR at noon yesterday. chad and tiff came with me for support. we sit in the waiting room for five hours. I was a lot moor calm then i was on Tuesday. the doctor came out and told us the she came through the surgery ok . they put in moor mesh to cover up the spot where the problem was. I guess the she had two patches of mesh on her intestine and the new hernia happened in between them.she also had a tummy tuck. mom had a belly like me,just not as big. and the fat on her tummy was pulling her stomach down that was part of what caused it. so they took off the bottom of her belly.

I am so glade she made it. she is in a lot of pain. they gave her this button to push to give her self pain meds. It can only be pushed every ten minuets so she cannot over medicate her self. her biggest worry right now is infection.

off i go to the hospital. I took time off this week to be with her, I have not had vacation time in so long I am board.I have nothing to do . i will sit with mom hold her hand and watch episodes of LA INK on my i-pod . that show is my new obsession. I decided i want to be a tattoo artist.I also have my first one planed out. i am going to get the butterfly i used for the icon for this post along with my moms name on my left leg. I also want a fluer de lie with roses just below the back of my neck. mom is cool about that. I did not think she would be.well that is all for now.
end rambling.

-stay cool my babies

hey people. I found some time from working my ass off to post.

walmart has been walmart but a lot moore busy then normal. Tax checks have been comming out and guess who gets to cash them all.Me.yay! Some not so smart person came up the bright idea to raise ower check casing limit from one 3 grand to five.I dont get this ! why the fuck would you walk into a store and cash a check and walk out with five grand in your pocket! you are just asking to the robbed and the crap kicked out of you. On top of that none of the people are spending any of this money in the store. they cash the check and walk right out of the door. but anything for that 3 bucks a check we charge to cash them.pluse my normal manager has been gone and another manager has been doing ower shifts and has been puting me by myself to close on the busy nights! no help just me at the desk with nobody to even cover me for my breaks. so I have to work my ass off doing the work of 3 people and listen to the customers bitch because i do not have help like that is my fault!HEllo! if ther was some trained to do this job in the store they would be hear already wouldnt they? I am soo tiard all I want to do is sleep. I so needed my mini vacation.

I went out of town to greenbay for a boweling tournament. This was my first one. I sucked but then i always suck. I play to have fun. As long as i hit somthing I am happy. we bowled 3 games saterday and then we went to the Onida casino for dinner. it was so good!they had chicken ,smoked salmon,musles,jasmin rice,cajin veggies and so much more. I left so full. we then went and played some slots I took in 20 bucks and only spent 10. I played the five cent slots and won about 10 bucks I played for almost a half an hour on one doller. every time I would get down to five or ten cents I woud win fifty cents or a doller.we had to bowl six strait games the next day by the end my thumb hurt so bad . I also had a bloody mary at eight oclock in the morning.I know lush right. but i was not driving. it lased me for all six games and i was also drinking soda and water at the same time. tha ally was so hot and i was so thursty. it was so good . but the car ride home took for freaking ever.
well thats all for now.
stay cool my babies.

happy new year.

I am so glad that Christmas is over!!! I used to like it but now I just count the days till the holidays are over. the only good thing was seeing the look on my moms face when she opened the gift I got her. I got her some books and a stainless steel pot and pan set that has built in strainers. for cookware they were kinda cool.I got a book and some gift cards for starbucks and qudoba . I went to the movies that night and saw the new alvin and the chipmunks movie, it was ok. when we almost spun out in the parking lot at the majestic because of all the rain it just one big sheet of ice.suck.

Mom is doing good right now. she has not had the best time lately
she scard the shit out of me in the beginning of november. she was going to go shopping with her fried Cathy. when she was walking down the front steps she lost her balance and fell and smaked her face into the steps. She had a big knot right above her right eye and she was bleeding a lot. we spent over 7 houers in the ER. chad came to sit with me. I was so worried about her chad was the only thing that was keeping me from loseing it.after a head CT we found out mom had fractured the bone underneith her eye. she looked someone beat the crap out of her. her face was badly bruised.

WE also had a crazy lady in the cubby next to us. she cused out a nurse because she coffed. then she told a doctor that she jumped off a porch because god told her to. I told mom god must have told her the same thing.the lady told the doctor she had only drunk just two half pints of vodka. like some saying they only ate just two cookies.holy crap I did not get how she was still awake. mom and chad were craking up listing to this lady ramble.they had to put her on suiside watch it was bad.

all I have been doing latly is going to work and boweling once a week.I also got into playing ff7 Durge of Cerbarus. I got sick of playing Batman. I love oggling vincent and dc is a pretty decent game even with the relly crappy dubbing on gennisis at the end and it it could have used some moore turks. whats ff7 without turks. one just does not do it.I also started on doing a countes cross stich. it is of a geisha holding out some fans it is relly pretty but it wall take me forever to get it done.

oh and i fucking hate snow!it can kiss my gigantic ass!
I am trying to get a tripp togather to go to the mall of america in october for my golden birthday i turn 28 on the 28th . If anyone wants to to go let me know. I want to spend it with my friends.
untill next time stay cool my babies.

I had a very stressful week. mom had been feel bad for a few days. she thought she had the flu.I was at tiffs house Sunday night because we were going to be watching a friends son the next day. i told mom to call me when she got up to go to the bathroom to check in.she did not call me till 5am. when she called she told me she thought she was having a reaction to her meds. her voice was slurred and was talking vary slow. chad and i got in the car and waent to my house. it took me and my moms friend Cathy to get my mom off the couch to try to get her to the car but only made it to the door of ower apartment. I had to call 911 by this point she could not talk at all.

the emt's came and checked her out. her blood sugar was at 46. normal blood sugar levels should be between 80 and 120. they gave her sugar water and glucose tabs to bring her sugar up. they then took her to the hospital. i spent till noon in the ER with her. her she got checked out and got her sugar back up. tiff came and picked us up.we got her some food and took her home. her sugar has been up and down all week. i have been so scared to leave her alone even to go to work.

as of today she is doing fine and her sugar is back up we think that the antibiotics she was taking for a scrap in her leg was interacting with her diabetic meds . when she finished taking them her sugar went back up. i now feel like i can breath againe.

on a plus note i start bowling tomorrow. i am so happy. my friend jess got me to join a leage. i suck but i have so much fun. i started last year and am staring up again for this season.

till later stay cool my babies.

I have found a new obsession. true blood.
It is based on the sookie stackhouse novels. You guys know how I love my books about blood suckers. I found the first season on dvd at work.It is such a good show. the seson fallows the first sookie book dead untill dawn. It does not fallow the book exactly so even if you have read the books there are still some surprises.
In the show vampiers have come out of the coffin.They did so because of the invention of fake blood called true blood.the show takes place in a little town called bon temps and mostly at a bar. the main person is a woman named sookie. she falls for a vamp named bill( i love that his name is bill.) add in her nynpho brother a serial killer. oh and she can read minds. the best part ? bills butt. that man has hind end end so tight you can bounce a quarter off of it. he is so yummy. i also like the other vamp Eric,he is also yummy(yummy as in i would like to lick them up and down) i also love the gay cook Lafayett. he is so funny.

I got this cute new phone. it is a white and aqua samsung gavity . the back of the phone slides out with a little keyboard so i am texting and insant messaging more. i love it.
I also dyed my hair last week it came out this bright ronald mcdonald red. i love it . the best part is that none of my managers at work have said anything about me having a non natural hair color.score! well thats all for now.
stay cool my babies!